Two cars almost got slammed harder than N'Sync in prison this morning.

I-95 southbound some blonde parked her car with hazards right after rush hour just before the I-195, I-64 interchange on I-95 -- listed as part of the deadliest stretch of I-95 from Florida to Maine. Car was sticking out into the passing lane of traffic, she couldn't get out of her car because her door was against the jersey wall. Peroxide must have soaked in too deep. State Popo was on its way there.

On I-195 right after a turn and merge lane, another woman was parked on the left shoulder sticking out into traffic, again up against the jersey wall. Lots of brains there, which we probably all would have seen splattered if the motorist assistance vehicle wasn't there. He too was hidden around the turn well short of any stopping distance other than a monkey on a tricycle.

A few weeks ago, some guy in a truck stops in the middle left lane of the bridge just before the Powhite toll plaza heading southbound. He had the hood up and was poking around the engine -- during rush hour. Anyone who would have slammed into the back of his truck would have made him into a fleshy skateboard. Look for all of the skid marks around that NASCAR turn.

For the love of jeebus, get to the *right* shoulder, keep your seatbelt on, and call #77 on your cell. If there's a wall or other barrier, pop the hood of your car and hop over and stand in the grass away from any traffic until help arrives. What a stupid way to die.