My 21st birthday...we got pulled over on the way home from the strip club.....less than one mile from our destination we get pulled over....we are all WASTED!

We were in my friend's roommate's car that we stole for the night because she was out of town. We got pulled over because she had all this shit hanging from her mirror.

The driver wasn't even licensed. He told the cop that the only reason he was driving is because it was my birthday, we were all drunk, and he was the DD (even though he was drunk too!).
One of my friends said some memorable shit to the cop: "Good evening OC-IF-ER".

We made out like bandits. The cop was cool as a polar bear's nads. He told the driver to turn left and the cop was gonna turn right. No tickets, no breathalizers, no arrests.