Creed of a ricer.....

I am a ricer.
I will bolt on a very large restricting muffler so that it will be loud, and i will be noticed.
I will put a nonfunctional wing on my trunk lid so that i will have "mad" downforce in my front wheel drive car.
I will paint my hood black with a can of spray paint to trick those V8s into thinking i am fast, and maybe they wont want to embarras me.
I will place a very large 16 inch tach on top of my dashboard and attach a maglite so that i will look cool to all the other ricerseven though i dont drag race.
I promise to pass normal street cars and rev my engine to its detonation point or 4,000RPM whichever comes first.
I promise to do burnouts at import hangouts so that everyone thinks im cool...even when the police show up.
I promise to cut my springs and scrape my exhaust on the ground in hope that i produce enough potholes to really destroy other peoples lowered rides.
I swear to live up to the name ricer, and make my friends proud.
I swear to have enough exhaust noise to wake people in the next state and ruin it for all other import enthusiasts.
And last but not least... I promise to drive down Va Beach Blvd with my makeshift strobelights on as to attract enough attention from the police, that they make halogen illegal.
I am a ricer...this i swear under the lord (in fear of being sued i cannot say "god")